New Humerous Tea Party Song

Posted on | June 28, 2010 | No Comments

By Xelan Bonn (June 28, 2010) Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved. www.xelanbonn.com

Check out the lyrics to this new Tea Party type song and see if you can put the music and voice to it and send me a link (be nice… but no selling copies unless I get my fair piece of the action).

ENJOY!!!

The Quintessential American Politician (PDF Download)
http://www.xelanbonn.com/xbforms/QP_Song_01.pdf

The Quintessential American Politician
By Xelan Bonn. Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved www.XelanBonn.Com

Verse 1
I’ve been long hours sailing on this ship,
I’m either captain or crew but I never quit

I’m a Congressman from a good old state
I got elected by bunch of brainless apes

All I had to do was give them a smile,
They looked no farther than the crap I piled

I’ve been playing the game for three decades strong
I might go another if I think on it long

I love this country and working for the sheep
I send them to slaughter daily for my lunch to keep

I have my pride and real outlook
It’s always been something for sale to crooks

It’s all because of the trans—nation–al corp
Just cut me check and let’s pull the cork

I’ll give you what you want and make you glad
I don’t mind selling out the land of my dad

Hey Mister Banker and I’m right here for you
Anything you need and I’m ready with screws

Just let me know what I can deal for you
I’ve got cash bailout with a trillion or two

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 2
I’ve been up in Congress for decades you see
I’m an old dinosaur grazing on greed and fees

Don’t you worry none my free trade man
I’m hear to get rid of jobs in this land

I send them overseas for decades long
Let’s kill the middleclass while I sing this song

I’ve been out work’n hard, really been sav’n’
I need more money in my offshore haven

When I retire, I’ll be filthy rich
Never paid my taxes ‘cause I’d have to bitch

Three decades long I’ve been painting hell
Tell the people everything looks so swell

Yet in the days that are com’n’ real soon
It could all come a tumbl’n’ tomorrow by noon

America will fall with a financial bang
But I’m just an innocent man, don’t let me hang

I suck like a vampire everything I can drain
It’s not my fault if my country feels pain

I never ran for office to help this land
I just wanted to get lots of money in my hand

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 3
Without term limits I could go all the way
Maybe I’ll die before they vote me away

I never have to worry ‘cause I’m an incumbent’s son
The suckers vote me in ‘cause they’re brainless bums

I’m so happy all the voters work like hell
Sometimes three jobs just to pay their bills

It gives us more tax dollars to steal away
God Bless America on the Hill we say

No more high paying jobs, we love illegal slaves
We have a middleclass to keep enslaved

Three decades strong I’ve been hold’n’ the line
Keeping all the voters confused and blind

They call for transparency but there will be none
I like it that way ‘cause it’s a lot more fun

I get to bend the rules and break lots of laws
And nobody knows about the pay-offs I cause

I’ve been doing back room deals for a long while
Closed door corruption is really my style

Let’s not rile anyone by letting them see
Too much sunlight scares special interest fees

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 4
We need our corporate corrupters don’t you know
The Al Mighty Dollar is the name of this show

I love Americans ‘cause not they’re real smart
They always vote for me though we’re miles apart

I just smile and waive, get the popularity vote
Never keep my promises but go on TV and gloat

I say I will do this and that,
But the reality is I’ll delay everything back

When I’m up for reelection, you’re are always my friend
I’ll smile for the suckers until the very end

Just give me your taxes, until it really hurts
I need new earmarks ‘cause my mistress needs skirts

It’s not my money so I feel no pain
I just keep spending ‘cause that’s our game

I was out on the town, just the other night
When I realized I wasn’t completely out of sight

I was in bathroom stall and he kissed down there
FBI saw, another expensive bribe I swear

I paid off the jerk and the news found Hilton Paris
Gave the nation idiot garbage to cherish

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 5
I was saved another day by my friends in the press
Nothing speaks like a dollar on a journalist’s breast

I take my marching orders from a group on high
I could care less as long as the dollars still fly

Money and power it’s all mine to keep
Screw America and all these damn little sheep

I’m a politician of the very best cloth
Lower than scum on used car lot

Call me anything that you ever will
But I’m dancing to the bank with my suitcase fill

You’re just a voter and I don’t hear your pain
A progressive education, well that’s your parent’s to blame

You spend all your money and live with mom
You’re an unthinker and passivist slob

I’m not afraid of people who can’t think like you
So go on boys and girls, party it up ‘till two

I need you at the college learning like you should
Where the socialist teach you crap communist never could

Now you’re indoctrinated, a progressive Red to keep
Go out and do my bidding like the Party’s good sheep

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 6
Tell all the world to vote for me
Collect lots funds with your communist pleas

Tell India, Iran, and China too
More campaign money for the US screw

Lets get out the vote by foreign affair
Screw the Americans, living everywhere

I’m a politician and learned like I should
Living in America is no longer any good

I did my part by tearing Her Lady down
America’s my slut so I’ll pimp her ‘round

If you’re a world government tyranyst org
For the right a price, liberty’s in the morgue

I’ll happily push socialist crap for you
Consolidate global power to Europe too

For three decades strong I’ve been a loyal man
You’re always in the shadows holding my hand

If you’re special interest and want to buy time
Let’s do it all quietly so there’s no federal crime

Here’s my bank account, it’s just offshore
When I see the number I’ll take your bill to the floor

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 7
You have my vote, I’m a dirty little whore
I could care less if all Americans are sore.

Out in Texas in the living land
I saw Tea Party folks shaking lots of hands

I thought it was funny and a fluke real good
Then I saw another one out in Hollywood

Now up in Kansas and across the West
These bunch of rebel rousers are all obsessed

I don’t understand what’s wrong with status quo
Who are these voters that really want to know

They getting bigger and stronger every single day
In spite of paying the news to stay away

I really don’t get it and don’t understand
What the hell is going on in this corrupted land

Who are these Americans that are stepping up
Driving toaster cars and old pick-ups

I’m never seen the old and young get along
Told my friends on the Hill, they said it won’t last long

Now we have millions chanting real loud
Telling us ‘be scared’ and acting real proud

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 8
I’m just a politician working three decades strong
Just a little man getting graft, I know’s wrong

If I could change anything you know I would
I get rid of freedom talkers across the nationhood

Down on the Internet and Google spying for Sam
Let’s just kill the Internet and screw the spam

When people get together with political talk
We feed’m red meat from the Party crock

But when they march down streets in torch bearing lines
It’s scare me to death, they’ll catch me in my crimes

I can see it now, me hanging on their noose
Swinging from the gallows ‘cause the lynch mob’s loose.

I think I’ll resign ‘fore the mob gets here
And sees all the damage I made in cheer

Maybe I should leave and leave right now
Find a bomb-free plane and get away somehow

That’s seems like the ticket ‘cause it’s been a good ride
I made lots of money on this real shady ride

Three decades long on the taxpayer’s dime
Not one FBI dope charged me with a crime

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

Verse 9
I ‘ll get away, go live offshore and free
Find another land to call my country tis of thee

Maybe I’ll go on down, live the Latin American way,
Seeing how they’re all in America to stay

I’ll live down in the trashy Third World sands
Won’t be much different from California lands

I helped to tear down a country once really great
Kill the Bill of Rights to secure a Police State.

Let’s all play ball and call ourselves free
Put a new camera on every corner to see

Freedom is wrong ‘cause G-Man knows best
Capitalism killed the planet I guess

I want to live my life in fear and dread
Let terrorists tell me when I need to go to bed

Search and strip granny getting on that plane
But let terrorist Pedro run the border game

I’ve been three decades as a politician man
I’m sure glad I’m getting the hell out of this land

I worked real hard to screw things up
Just leave the mess for the next batter up

Chorus
This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

This is terrible, we screwed up real good
Soviet Union style living in my neighborhood
I helped make it happen, said the idiot’s to blame
World’s gone crazy or maybe I’m just insane
I’m simply a quintessential politician man
I went to Washington to affect the party scam
I’m a criminal with a license to steal
I walk the party line to get my next meal

And yes I’ll walk the line if you promise not to squeal

>>>< <<

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